A discussion for men

BY: ANDREW STEWART 

This article is dedicated men, fathers and soon to be fathers. I know I’m supposed to educate my readers about insurance, like the various types, why it’s important, how to use it and where the industry is going. But today I want to speak briefly about two areas that I hope to see in 2019 more education, exposure, and discussions that will continue to have an upsurge.

• Parental leave for fathers
• Men talking about depression

Parental leave for fathers

A federal benefits program launching next year that dads taking time off after a birth is not only normal, it will be expected for years to come. Employment Insurance Parental Sharing Benefit (EIPSB), a new five-week parental leave for “the other parent.” The benefit is projected to start in March 2019 instead of June, as originally anticipated. The benefit applies to the person who doesn’t take the main chunk of parental leave after a birth or adoption. Now I believe this could be a game changer for some families. After about a week of being home with the baby, men usually go back to work so the family can continue its lifestyle. A common sentiment by women and mothers is that fathers often don’t really have a grip on the enormity of the new mother’s workload. This could possibly help men gain a better appreciation of motherhood, five weeks at home won’t instantly change dads into experts, but it’s a start.

I remember when my daughters were born, I felt like I had to rush back to work because that was my part in this parenting equation. With this program, it will be easier for men to get time off after a baby is born. The EIPSB makes the idea more normalized, as opposed to a sort of perk. That should reduce the need for men to have to negotiate this “time off” with less enlightened employers. Now you may be thinking that this means mothers have to take shorter maternity leave, nope! Canadian parents can both take parental leave through Employment Insurance, but they draw from a shared pool of benefits ranging from 35 to 61 weeks. The EISPB helps them do that, while still allowing both partners to be home for a few weeks. In fact, the new policy “rewards” families with an extra five weeks for moms when a partner takes their five weeks.

Men talking about depression

Depression is a devastating illness, it can become so painful that its victims can become convinced that there is no way out other than to take their own lives. The reality is that, particularly when left untreated, depression can kill. Like many men, I find depression a hard topic to talk about. I remember speaking with a longtime friend who on the surface seemed like everything was fine. Then he shared with me that something serious was going on with his health. He couldn’t explain or understand where it was coming from and why he couldn’t get control of his emotions.

You see all over the world, boys learn that men don’t cry, that men don’t ask for help, and that real men handle their business no matter what. He suffered in silence for months until symptoms like lack of sleep, low energy, low mood, pains in his chest and not wanting to interact with friends and family became too much to hide. The scary thing is, that his story is not unique just to him. Other men, I’ve spoken to; guys I’ve known for years that have also told me they know what depression is like, that they too have struggled.

Stigma around depression still exists. In order to really begin fighting depression, men need to break the silence and not feel ashamed for not feeling well. It’s okay to seek support. Sometimes getting an outside perspective on what might be contributing to depression by consulting a professional who has knowledge of depression and treatment options is a smart thing to do.