Speaking up is crucial!! Domestic violence virtual discussion

BY MICHAEL THOMAS

The Caribbean Voice invited Toronto Caribbean Newspaper to have a representative cover a Zoom and Facebook live discussion on domestic violence in the Caribbean and the Caribbean diaspora on November 29^th, 2020, from 6:00pm to 8:00pm.

This program was part of an observance of sixteen days of activism against gender-based violence that will be ongoing from November 25^th to December 10^th each year.

The people taking part in this program came from a number of Caribbean nations as well as the Caribbean diaspora in the US and included:

• C Ashley John – St. Vincent & the Grenadines, Social activist/advocate
• Christine Perumal – USA, lead attorney at Safe Horizons, an NGO focused on empowerment of domestic violence victims, social activist and advocate
• Karen Carpenter – Jamaica, Head, Institute for Gender and Development Studies, UWI, Mona Campus
• Anthony Ganness – Trinidad & Tobago, Mental Health Unit, Ministry of Health.
• Krisnan Hurdle – Barbados, therapist, life coach, clinical psychology student, lead consultant at Insight Counseling
• E. Laurie Shiell-Smith – Bermuda, Executive Director, Center Against Abuse
• Bindu Babu – USA, domestic violence survivor, author and women’s empowerment activist
• Judith Narain – USA, TCV member, social activist and advocate.
• Lorraine Barnaby – Jamaica, TCV member, psychiatrist, social activist and advocate
• Keshwar Ramkissoon – USA Pandits Parishad, medical doctor, social activist and advocate
• Bibi Ahamad – Guyana, TCV member, psychologist, social activist and advocate

Annan Boodram and Neela Naraine of The Caribbean Voice hosted this conference, while Bibi Ahamad was both a discussant and a co-host.

Although this is one of a number of programs being organized by The Caribbean Voice, the aim is to bring together people across the Caribbean and its diaspora who are involved in suicide and abuse prevention at various levels.

This particular program is also aimed to arrive at strategies for domestic violence prevention that are viable, pragmatic and doable.

Such strategies will be shared with all governments, NGOs, FBOs, CSOs and individuals who are involved in domestic violence prevention.

Toronto Caribbean Newspaper was present at the virtual conference and interacted with some of the participants in live video time.

The first question of the evening went out to Dr. Karen Carpenter of Jamaica Head Institute for Gender and Development Studies, UWI, Mona Campus. The question was how does emotional, psychological or verbal abuse affect the victim?

“One of the first things,” Carpenter answered, “that happens to the victim is the loss of self-esteem. This happens even before they come to the point of reporting that they have been victimized.”

“They begin to blame themselves feeling that they have somehow done something wrong. Maybe the way they look, the way they stood, the way they sat, and this keeps them from reporting the matter until it becomes a second and a third attack,” she said.

“Most victims,” she said, “don’t report the abuse in the first instance and the ones who do are the ones most likely to fight back.”

Dr. Bindu Babu who is a domestic violence survivor, author and women’s empowerment activist in the U.S.A also spoke on this sad subject of domestic violence.

“In some cultures,” Bindu said, we are taught to stay in a marriage no matter what. If not, it is considered a very negative impact on society, your family and the culture. This creates fear of being ostracized by society and your culture.”

Bindu also spoke of how cunning these abusers can be, “A narcissist,” she said, “is a person who always comes to you and says, you know I did this because you did this to make me do this to you. This is called (gas lighting) but there comes a time when you have to break out of that barrier and it takes a lot of guts.”