How to stop selling yourself short in life

BY DANIEL COLE

You are your own salesman. Has someone once given you a compliment about a job well done, only to respond with, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing?” If that sounds like you, you need to stop it! Selling yourself short is underplaying your worth, competence, gifts, values, and hard work. In the movie, ‘Coach Carter.’ you probably remember the scene when Carter walks into the gym to find his players studying, with the hope that they can pull their grades back up. It’s from here one of the players, Timo Cruz, delivers the “Our Deepest Fear” poem.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Yes, there is nothing enlightened about you shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. You are meant to shine, and you don’t have to be apologetic about that.

It’s OK to own your victories. It’s OK to collect your wins. It’s OK to acknowledge the battles you’ve won and the darkest night you’ve survived. You’ve paid the price to get to where you are, you’ve made some sacrifices, you’ve put in the hours, and you’ve had your fair share of life’s pain and struggles, don’t underplay any of that.

Selling yourself short always stems from low or poor self-esteem, coupled with a sense of unworthiness. Oftentimes, these are fragments of an abusive childhood, the lack of validation from people we look up to as a child, be it parents or guardians. Nonetheless, the moment we take full responsibility and ownership of our lives and stop blaming the past, we’re liberated from such influences. It is important to note that if you keep arguing for your limitations, sure enough, they become yours.

In the words of Jennifer Nettles, “Don’t ever sell yourself short. Stand tall. Never be ashamed of who you are. You are beautiful, you are loved. You are needed. You are worth it. Promise me you won’t forget that. Promise me you won’t let your scars define who you are. Let your trials shape you. Let your victories humble you.”

Most of the people we admire as celebrities and influencers do not necessarily have extraordinary curriculums, skills or gifts. However, if there is one thing they’ve done really well, they’ve consistently kept a posture of excellence in the field or industry they represent. You can do the same. In life, you need to learn how to collect your wins because in your darkest moment you will need them as a reminder that your life is not defined by what you are currently going through. Whatever life throws at you, always stand tall.

The idea is not to go about bragging about what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished, the adjectives that go with your name, or the numbers of plaques hanging on your wall, but rather, when needs call for it to showcase your work, to speak about the values you can contribute, don’t downplay it.

It is important not to compare yourself with anyone. Embrace your uniqueness and creativity. Avoid toxic environments that don’t encourage your growth or contribution. Life is too short to live it with cynical, shallow-minded people. Go where you can flourish. You are worthy of every good thing life can give. You deserve the best of life. Don’t sell yourself short; keep standing tall.