Commit to your growth

BY TARA MYSHRALL

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” Buddha

I am peering out the large glass window in my downtown office. For ten years I sat in this office multiple times a week staring out this window, many times asking for guidance and whispering my desire to make the right next move.

What I didn’t realize in the moments of seeking guidance was how many times I would feel like the sky was falling… when things were actually falling into place. Challenging moments arose but there was always a lesson that peaked through this concrete jungle offering me hope.

Today feels bittersweet. Because after a decade I am cleaning out my desk. I am walking away from the foundation that I built and trusting in my growth that I am ready for the next step. While I pack my desk and type away at this keyboard, I am so thankful for the lessons this career brought me.  I learned at this company that despite the jokes and lack of confidence from those around me, I would be strong enough to last as a woman in tech without the traditional experience and education.

I learned that boundaries are imperative in life and business. Saying yes to everything can certainly drain you and prevent you from shining in your fullest version of yourself. By saying yes to everything I said no to shining my brightest light. Many of us can be people pleasers. We can want to say yes, all the time because we feel like that’s what is needed to show up. The truth is that we can only walk in our greatest light when we allow it to illuminate our way. The longer our head is down doing everything so we can be enough, we do not shine in the things that we are best at.

I also didn’t realize that by saying yes to things that were not my job, I prevented others from shining their brightest. I had to learn to do the things that were in the highest use of my skills and to trust others to do their part. I needed to see others as whole and complete and trust they could get the job done without me stepping in to do their work or take over. I also had to learn over this decade that setting boundaries would teach others how to treat me, people would learn what I deemed acceptable and treat me in accordance.

The hardest thing that I struggled with and continue to grabble with is when to walk away. I had turbulent times in my career, but I never really thought of quitting.  The tougher things got with my organization the more I grit my teeth and found a way through it.

When things are great and you feel like you can handle anything that is thrown at you, that is the time to go. That is the time when you are shining so bright that you have to take a chance on yourself and touch the side of the unknown.

When you feel like you can close the most complex deals or work with the most difficult peer that is when you push yourself to your limits. You feel the fear about not knowing what to do or who to do it with, the fear of not knowing the answers or how to resolve a client’s issue, and the feeling in your gut that you could fail at any moment. Those feelings are the discomfort of growth, it is the muscles tearing right before they regrow stronger and it is that deep voice buried in you pulling you to the best part of yourself, the real inner warrior that will illuminate your gifts into this world and permit others to do the same.