Wrestling with your dreams – Who are you becoming?

BY TARA MYSHRALL

“Be careful what you wish for.” I heard this so many times growing up, but I never truly got it until recent years. I have come to understand that the universe will always provide for us, but sometimes, it is in ways we least expect. It is like the universe has a sense of humour and wants to see how far we can be pushed. We can have anything we want, but the timing and how things unfold are entirely up to the universe and outside of our control.

I always wanted to be a Vice President or CEO and rock it professionally at a tech company while still being the change I want to see in our community. What I have come to understand is that as we grow, the thing we have been working for our whole lives can sometimes lose or change their meaning.

Being a millionaire, having a nice car, house, mate, bank account etc.… are all wonderful aspirations, but we need to stop and ask ourselves WHY we want what we want. This question is imperative as every time you get close to receiving the universe could throw you a curveball. It is possible you will be tested to see how badly you really want your goals and what you are willing to do to achieve them.

To get on the other side of our goals, we have to understand that they don’t define us, and they do not create who we are as well-rounded people. These dreams are placeholders for what we are becoming, and we must know our desires for that becoming. What are we unfolding into and how does that dream play into the totality of our life? Once we can start to see our dreams from the macro and micro, we can aspire to them but not place any of our self-worth on those outcomes. We can walk with both ambiguity and discernment and consciously start to create the life we want to live from a place of knowing.

Reaching our dreams is not the end state, as there will be something more to unfold after this achievement. I realized recently after being offered the Regional VP role in a tech company that what I had been pushing so hard for was finally becoming a reality. However, I didn’t feel elevated with joy. I felt paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. I could not put my finger on the feelings after weeks of sitting with it and connecting back to the source.

What occurred to me after much deliberation is that I had planned and set a goal and manifested it out into the universe and it came back to me but at the same time as many other changes, a possible promotion in my current firm and many changes at home with my family. I kept spinning in should I stay or should I go.

No one ever talks about the uncertainty in obtaining your goals. We know we want more but do we consciously create who we want to BE when we have more? We have these goals floating around in our minds that we strive to obtain but how do we ensure that we consciously create the person we are trying to transform into?

The first step is we need to know why we have the goal we have, where did it originate and what do we expect the goal to bring to our lives and the lives of others?  Who do we want to BE as we achieve the new goals, and what are we willing to release and let go of? We can create so much in our lives but as more comes in, we need to release what will not serve us moving forward into the next step of who we are becoming.