Life Lessons Learned

BY: JAY BRIJPAUL 

My first place of residence was in an apartment building in Scarborough, Lyn Valley. I was advised by my friends and relatives to buy the best furniture and appliances because when I would eventually buy my home, I could keep them. That was a mistake because back then, condos were selling for about $40,000. All I needed was 10% or $4,000. I chose instead to buy an expensive bedroom set for about the same cost. I took advice from the wrong person. I confided in the person who was closest to me but was not necessarily the right person. You should not go to the mechanic when your head hurts and similarly to the doctor when your car breaks down.

When I bought my first home, I relied on a friend who introduced me to a realtor. He showed me one home in Malton and convinced me to buy it. The sellers were his friends and they eventually bought another home from him. The home I bought was roach infested and required work. I paid above market value. The realtor-assisted me to arrange a mortgage through a mortgage broker. I paid huge brokerage fees and had a first and second mortgage.

I also have assisted many people financially and have received the wrong end of the stick. Both the money and friendships disappeared. I assisted a client who relocated to Mexico and had an outstanding loan. She asked if I could assist and she would repay in a few weeks. It’s been over 10 years now and I am still hoping. I have come to understand that if someone does not have money in the first place, how can they afford to repay you? It’s best to give and forget than to lend and repent.

In the mid-’90s, a friend, top-notch accountant, advised me to have a mixed investment portfolio. I had a few rental properties then and with his advice, I bought mutual funds. About seven years later, I sold it at a loss and moved on. I learned to stick with what I know best. Had I used the money to buy a few more rental properties, things could have been different.

In 1988, a potential buyer asked me to show him a home in Scarborough. He was living in Mississauga. After visiting the home, he requested that I drop him off a few blocks down the road by his daughter. On my way driving home I realized that he used me as an unpaid taxi cab driver.

Today I work differently. I ask more qualifying questions. I found that by asking more questions, I can assess the client’s need and assist them better. At the same time, I can throw out the bad apples.

I had a client who always introduced himself as “Reverend”.  It turned out that he was a scam artist. On the other hand, my doctor would refer to himself by his first name and not by his title. Today, anytime someone introduces themselves to me by their title, I interpret it as a warning signal.

I assisted a couple that were having family disputes, to sell their home. I got the offer signed by the husband and had to meet his wife in the mall. She was with her sisters and begged me not to let her husband know. Later her husband called and questioned me. I did not mention that she was with her sisters. The bad news is that he eventually found out and unleashed his anger against me. Lesson learned is not to get caught in the crossfire because you are getting bullets from both sides.

For investors, I rewarded good tenants by not giving them a rental increase. Most of my rental properties are underperforming. Now, I reward my tenants differently but give them a rental increase as allowed by the guidelines.

I hope that these life lessons act as lighthouses in the dark and stormy seas of our lives. Osker Wilde, the famous poet and playwright, put it into perspective “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Let’s learn from experiences.