Procrastination or self-sabotage?

BY TARA MYSHRALL

Last night I sat down to write my article and decided to walk the dog first. After I walked the dog, I noticed that my front yard had some weeds creeping into my newly sodded grass. So, I got on my hands and knees and pulled weeds. I finally got inside the house at 9pm and thought it was time to get some dinner. All this to say the article never got written. As I lay in my bed this morning I thought I should get up extra early, as I had a full day and still needed to get to writing my article.  But the snuggles with my puppy felt better.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was indeed self-sabotaging. There was something inside of me that was afraid of writing. Do you know that feeling where you are really excited to do something and then slowly everything else becomes more important? 

Well, it is usually because we have some hidden belief that we are not worthy or that we will fail or even worse, that people just won’t like what we are creating. That fear comes from limiting beliefs that prevent us from stepping into our fullest light. We feel it is safer to choose to fail ourselves, rather than others deem us a failure. Now failing in itself is not self-sabotage, as we will all fail in life and then dust ourselves off and move forward. But sabotage is failing based on an inner belief structure that deliberately replaces the reward of completing a task. 

I was running a habit loop that would keep me in the all familiar pattern of procrastination. I was going through this circuit of cue, response and reward. You know that moment when you smell the freshly baked cookies, your mouth starts watering and you think of the chocolaty goodness and then before you know it, you’re eating three of them? Well, that’s the cue, response and reward. Our brains actually are forming circuits that make active decisions. These decisions form habits that run our behavior cycles and the same way we reach for that chocolate for gratification, we can reach for sabotage to protect us from stress and failure.  

Habits actually make up 40% of our decision-making process. From knowing how to drive home to reaching for the wine after a hard day. So many of us create sabotaging copying techniques from a young age and continue to let them run out of habit or without conscious thoughts. 

The good news is that self-reflection can bring these habits to light and we can choose to change them. For example, instead of having three glasses of wine after gardening and eating chocolate cookies, I could decide to write the article and then eat early, eliminating the stress of not achieving, which took me to the wine. Once we make a single choice, it has a snowball effect, impacting other areas of our life and creating a new cue, response and reward circuit, literally reprogramming our brains.

There are so many forms of procrastination. Some may revert to defensiveness, some shyness, some to excessive drinking or smoking, others stage fright and many more. All forms of self-sabotage can be overcome. 

We need to examine our behavior and our responses and ask ourselves why am I behaving like this? Could I play a role in this outcome I am receiving? Even perceived hardwired responses in our brain can be rewritten with the right focus. 

So, this weekend look at where you feel you are not meeting your goals in life and ask yourself what self-sabotaging habits are really keeping you from your dreams? Then decide…..decide that you are worth your dreams and compel yourself to change one small habit!