The architecture of happiness: Five pillars of a flourishing life

There is no universal key to happiness; happiness is based on specific individual values. It’s a byproduct, not a goal to be pursued. However, there are certain factors or ingredients that largely influence, or contribute to our happiness, or the lack of it. When your experiences and your realities are consistent with your goals and expectations, and you are content with your situation, you feel happy. If, on the other hand, for any reason, your current situation is different from what you really want and expect, you will be discontented and unhappy.

A true and sustained happiness is not just a euphoric feeling that comes as a result of meeting specific goals; the realities and events that brought you happiness and joy today may no longer be your reality tomorrow. For example, a person who is laid off from work, a loved one passing away, it is the ability to embrace the uncertainties and unpredictability’s of life and to look for the silver lining in certain situations, that is the hallmark of a happy life.

Here are the five ingredients that contribute to our happiness.

Good health

This is perhaps the most important element of a good life. We strive for it all our lives. It is only when you enjoy high levels of pain-free health and a continuous flow of energy that you feel truly happy. In many cases, health is a “deficiency need.” This means that we often don’t think about our health until we are deprived of it. For example, we often don’t think about our dental care until we have a toothache. Staying healthy is a necessity to staying happy. Take good care of your health.

Happy relationships

Fully 85% of your happiness, or the lack of it will come from your relationships with other people. We are designed to function in society, working and living with other people at every stage of our lives. Your ability to keep and maintain high-quality relationships with your: spouse, children, friends, colleagues, and others is the true measure of the quality of your personality and your level of mental health. People with high levels of self-esteem and self-respect get along better with others and have much happier lives.

Meaningful and purposeful work

To be truly happy, you must be fully engaged with life. You must be doing something that gives you a sense of fulfillment and contribution. If you are making a living, you must be doing work that you enjoy, do well, and for which you are well paid. People are truly happy only when they feel they are making a contribution of some kind, that they are putting in more than they are taking out.

Financial independence

Some of the greatest fears we experience are those of loss, failure, and poverty. We fear being destitute, without funds, and dependent on others. One of your chief responsibilities to yourself is to work toward financial independence and financial freedom throughout your life. The happiest of all people are those who have reached the point at which they no longer worry about money. This is not something you can leave to chance, but rather something that requires deliberate, purposeful action and tremendous self-discipline to achieve.

Self-actualization

This is the feeling that you are becoming everything you are capable of becoming. This occurs when you feel that you are realizing more and more of your true potential. Abraham Maslow is best known for his Hierarchy of Needs. He determined that people have both “deficiency needs” and “being needs.” People strive either to compensate for their deficiency, or to realize their potential. He concluded that you begin to evolve and develop to the highest levels possible for you only when your deficiency needs are first satisfied. Happiness comes when you have a sense of actualization.