The greatest liar in the world

BY RALPH BRYANT

My name is Ralph Bryant and I am the greatest liar in the world.

Five years ago, I had what would be considered by most as a perfect life.  I literally lived in the greatest city in Canada. (Burlington, Ontario, voted by Macleans magazine in 2019), and had a great job with a Fortune 500 company.

I served on the parent council at my kid’s school, coached rep soccer, and I even had a beautiful white wife, who was everything a man could want. Yet, I was not happy. In fact, I was in the darkest place anyone could possibly imagine.

Despite having my family, my friends and my career, I felt increasingly alone, isolated and desperate, creating a need to numb these feelings with: alcohol, sex, drugs, going deeper and deeper into a manic depressive rabbit hole, flat lining to a hospital stay in the mental wing from which I never thought that I’d recover.

It also led to a complete evaluation of my entire life; the many things I had done wrong, the few I got right. I needed to understand how someone, who seemingly had everything, could wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and feel as if he had nothing, and was nothing.

Today, everything is different. It feels as if I’m inhabiting a different body; a brand new mind. I have created a successful podcast focused on black fathers and culture, I’m publishing my second book of poetry. I am living a life of purpose and meaning, which has made me a better person, a better father, and happier and more optimistic than I ever thought possible.

In order for me to find healing, I needed to confront the painful truth of my family. I am a third generation sufferer of mental illness. I’ve been in some combination of therapy and pharmaceuticals since I was thirteen years old. I held back my deepest feelings; we are too often committed to antiquated ideas about mental issues as a sign of masculinity  — this has to change.

I realized that I have an incredible opportunity to share my story of recovery, mental wellness and childhood trauma to help remove the stigma our community has about the conversation around mental health.

In many ways, the tragedy of the Coronavirus has instilled in me a sense of great purpose. It has reignited my love of writing and creativity. My business partner, Roy Kataha, and I have created Black Fathers Media, an independent, black-owned creative company that develops authentic content for underrepresented and non-traditional audiences.

Our first show, Black Fathers Matter, is an irreverent video podcast, where two black male friends and fathers, talk about race, class, culture and everything in between. Next year, we will be launching an erotica show for black women called My First Time.

As a sales and marketing professional, I made tens of millions of dollars for large corporations. But there was rarely the opportunity to grow, to use my talents to uplift myself, or my community. This is that opportunity.

My biggest, and most exciting, project is Shackles Lost, which is a multimedia documentary and spoken word project, telling one black man’s struggle with mental illness. As I seek to reflect not only on my past trauma, there’s also the chance for the healing I so desperately, desperately want to receive.

The biggest lesson that Coronavirus has taught me, and so many others is that you have to control your own destiny.  Now. We must all live our purpose because we never know when everything will be taken away from you. For so many, mental health is a silent struggle that burrows deep inside. By sharing my story. I hope to bring light to so many of our people living in shadows of shame. I hope that by sharing my story, I am bringing healing light to our communities.