Does your doctor care?

If doctors depended like actors do on an ability to connect with their audience, the medical profession would get better reviews. Most patients will tell you the same thing about their doctor: they do not make that connection at a human level. They are elusive, impossible to reach for a discussion. When they appear at appointments, they pay more attention to the computer screen in the examining room than they do you, the patient, the person needing their care. Patients have been complaining about it for decades.

In 1989, a major survey reported patients often felt dehumanized, and that doctors cared more about tests and procedures than about the person in front of them. Even earlier, in the 1960s, social researchers noted that patients described physicians as curt and abrupt, mechanical, and impersonal. Studies ever since have confirmed that dissatisfaction with doctors is due to their lack of communication skills.

Medical schools have tried to address this. Teaching people skills is now part of the curriculum. Students rehearse interviews, practice explaining diagnoses, and even role-play with actors posing as patients. Research shows that effective communication improves diagnostic accuracy, increases adherence to treatment plans, and enhances patient satisfaction. Yet many patients would be forgiven for wondering where those lessons went. Heavy workloads, computer screens between doctor and patient, and complex medical teams continue to create barriers. Medicine may be teaching communication better than ever, but the system often makes it hard for the patient to see the doctor doing it.

Many patients assume they have no choice. “I’m lucky just to have a doctor,” they tell themselves. “There’s no way I could find another one.” This is a false narrative. Doctor shortages and the complexity of healthcare have people believing they must accept poor communication. You would not tolerate being ignored or dismissed in other parts of your life. Why accept it in medicine?

Patients do have power. Does your doctor ask about your life, listen without interrupting, and explain clearly? If the answer is consistently “no,” action is warranted. Even if you stay with the same doctor, your preparation can transform a visit. Write down your list of concerns and what you think the doctor needs to know as background. Prioritize your questions and have them written down too. Ask for clarification. Ask if you have options. Be sure you understand instructions relating to medication.

Communication matters immensely in consultations, where diagnoses are discussed, treatment plans explained, and long-term decisions made. Surgery is different. In the operating room, technical skills are what matter. A brusque surgeon may still be an exceptional technician. Reputation among colleagues, experience, and complication rates are more revealing than personality. Multiple opinions, careful questions about outcomes, and input from nurses, or other professionals are the smartest safeguards.

Walking out on a doctor may be right for some patients, but a practical alternative is a health advocate: a trusted companion who attends appointments with you. They can ensure questions are asked, take notes, track instructions, clarify confusing explanations, and follow up on tests or referrals. They function as an extra set of eyes and ears, guiding patients through complex care.

There is also the possibility that new artificial-intelligence tools capable of notetaking, translating medical jargon into plain language, and helping patients with treatment routines will assume the role of chief communicator. If managed wisely, these tools could make a significant difference. The relationship we all want still rests with two human beings: a doctor who cares and a patient who feels well cared for.

This column offers opinions on health and wellness, not personal medical advice.  

For comments, diana@docgiff.com.